Thursday, June 17, 2010

Scootle's Guide To Failing GCSE English!

I just found out from a friend that 15 and 16 year olds in the UK are required in English class to write an essay about "What happened on 9/11?" as part of the curriculum. That's right, the British government is forcing the propaganda on poor unspecting teenagers. Now I'm currently being forced to attend a thirteen week job seekers course or else I lose my benefits and lately I've been feeling like I'm back at school again but in the special needs classes. So if the governments gonna treat me like a disruptive kid, I may aswell be one for a little while.

So to any teenagers who are immune to the indoctrination and not afraid of controversy, here are a couple of humourous ways you could go about dropping some 9/11 truth in your essays while stilll following the exam board's objectives and without people thinking you are crazy.

Note: This may result in you being punished, put on "a list", and recommended further re-education. In extreme cases, child services may even be called.

One option is to write a long and extremely detailed description of the official story to show how ridiculous it is. For example...

"Hani Hanjour, a man who was incompetant in a single engine Cessna, then executed a complex 330 degree downward turn, descending 6000 feet in two and a half minutes. He then entered a steep dive and descended a further 2000 feet in 40 seconds, pulled out of this steep dive at 500mph, overcame enormous G-Forces and knocked down five light poles in less than a second while maintaining the perfect trajectory required to hit the ground floor of a conveniently reinforced section of the Pentagon without touching the lawn. And he accomplished all this without being caught on any of the eighty plus cameras surrounding the Pentagon and without attracting the attention of the US air defence."

Alternatively, you could discuss 'conspiracy theories' but 'debunk' them in a blatantly contradictory fashion. For example ...

"Conspiracy theorists claim the World Trade Center was demolished by thermite, but this is ridiculous. Thermite is not an explosive, it is too slow to be used in demolition. A series of well placed, accurately timed, 4500 degree thermite reactions cannot possibly bring down a building in a symmetrical fashion. What actually happened was, randomly spread, 1400 degree office fires brought down the buildings in a symmetrical fashion! [Source: BBC - The Third Tower]"
Tip: Cite credible sources as often as you can! It will show them you are University student material!

Aww man now I wish I was back at school again. If only I was awake when I was doing my A-Levels. I would have done my final Physics presentation on the demolitions.